搞笑祝福語英文
1、以前讓一個人消失，需要殺人藏屍。現在讓一個人消失，只要問他什麼時候還錢。
Before letting a person disappear, we need to kill and hide the corpse. Now let a person disappear, just ask him when to repay the money.
2、聽說你被**，真的把我嚇壞。好替那人擔心，賣得掉你纔怪！
I was horrified to hear that you were abducted and sold. Well, worry about that man. It's strange to sell you!
3、你看看你，美國頭，法國腰，印度鼻子，香港腳，人不人，鬼不鬼，只有一個腦袋，兩條腿。
Look at you, American head, French waist, Indian nose, Hong Kong foot, human, ghost not ghost, only one head, two legs.
4、給你快樂，給你幸福，就是我所願，真的好愛你！讓世間的累贅滾一邊去，相愛是美好的！
To give you happiness, to give you happiness, is what I want, really love you! Let the burden of the world roll away and love is wonderful.
5、你若一回頭，嚇死一頭牛，你若而回頭，喬丹玩足球，你若三回頭，基因重組人變猴。
If you look back and scare a cow to death, if you look back, Jordan plays football, if you look back three times, the recombinant human becomes a monkey.
6、人家拿木倉你拿棍，人家吃飯你撿粒兒，人家吃魚你吃刺兒，人家拉屎你聞味兒！
People take wooden barn you take sticks, people eat you pick up grains, people eat fish you eat thorns, people shit you smell!
7、我是甜瓜，你是苦瓜；我是黃瓜，你是木瓜；我是西瓜，你是傻瓜；我是絲瓜，你是呆瓜！
I am a melon, you are a bitter melon; I am a cucumber, you are a papaya; I am a watermelon, you are a fool; I am a luffa, you are a fool!
8、擁抱真是個奇怪的東西，明明靠的那麼近，卻看不見彼此的臉。
A hug is a strange thing. It's so close, but it can't see each other's face.
9、你緊鎖的眉頭是我的哀愁，你動人的笑容是我快樂的緣由，你的幸福是我一生最大的追求。
Your locked eyebrows are my sorrow, your moving smile is my reason for happiness, your happiness is the greatest pursuit of my life.
10、一個成功男人背後永遠站着一個女人，一個有錢的女人背後永遠站着一羣男人。
Behind a successful man stands a woman forever, behind a rich woman stands a group of men forever.
11、跟班上的學渣多聯繫，因爲等你大學畢業時，人家已經是工頭了。
Learn more about the rest of the class, because when you graduate from University, people are already foreman.
12、哎喲，討厭，男生都像蒼蠅似的粘着我。室友頭也不擡地回說：大概是因爲你長得像大便吧！
Oh, no, boys are glued to me like flies. The roommate replied, "maybe it's because you look like a stool."
13、天上有個太陽，水中有個月亮，我不知道，我不知道，我不知道，哪個更圓哪個更亮。
There is a sun in the sky and a moon in the water. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, which is more round and which is brighter.
14、一等兒女有福氣，二等兒女走時氣，三等兒女等運氣，四等兒女乾生氣。
First class children are fortunate, two children wait for the time, three children and other luck, four children and so on.
15、和上司說美話，和下屬說醜話，和老婆說謊話，和情人說瞎話，和熟人說笑話，和生人說鬼話。
Talk beautifully to your boss, to your subordinates, to your wife, to your lover, to your acquaintances, and to strangers.
16、給你陽光、你就燦爛；給你月光、你就浪漫；給你洪水、你就氾濫；給你黑暗、你就完蛋！
Give you sunshine, you will be brilliant; give you moonlight, you will be romantic; give you flood, you will flood; give you darkness, you will be doomed!
17、小時候缺愛，長大了缺鈣，穿着褲頭，打着領帶，自以爲是東方不敗，其實是傻瓜一代。
Childhood love, growing up calcium deficiency, wearing trousers, wearing a tie, think that the East is unbeaten, is actually a generation of fools.
18、你罵我，我低頭，你老婆生了一窩猴，有蹦的，有跳的，還有看完信息傻笑的！
You scold me, I bow my head, your wife gave birth to a nest of monkeys, there are jumping, jumping, and read the information silly laugh!
19、見到骨頭你就笑，急了你還把牆跳。生人來了拼命叫，人類有你真真好。
When you see a bone, you laugh and hurry. You jump the wall. Strangers come and cry. It's so nice to have you.
20、感冒偏方：將頭放於門框，用力關門，直至眩暈且伴有輕微淤血，感冒即可治癒。
Cold recipe: put your head in the doorframe, close the door forcibly until you feel dizzy and have a slight congestion, and the cold can be cured.
21、你看那個男生真可愛，他頭頂一捆大白菜，身穿一條麻袋，腰繫一跟海帶，看上去象東方不敗。
You see that boy is so cute. He looks like an invincible man in the East with a bundle of cabbage on his head, a sack and a kelp around his waist.
22、爲了你，我可上九天攬月，可下五洋捉鱉；因爲你就是那天上的月，也是那洋底的鱉！
For you, I can take the moon for nine days and catch turtles in the five oceans, because you are the moon on that day and the turtle on the bottom of the ocean!
23、成熟是給陌生人看的，傻是給小夥伴看的，幼稚是給喜歡的人看的。
Maturity is for strangers. Silly is for small partners, naive is for the likes of people.
24、娶了老婆更是累，洗腳揉腿帶捶背，捶完再陪牀上睡，彷彿萬惡舊社會，把把都是辛酸淚！
Married a wife is even more tired, wash feet rubbing legs with hammering back, hammering and then accompany the bed to sleep, as if the evil old society, all are bitter tears!
25、聽說你師傅教了你上中下三路劍法，可是你上中劍不學，偏偏自學了個下劍！
I heard that your master taught you the upper middle and lower three-way fencing, but you do not learn the middle sword, but self-taught a lower sword!
26、發這條信息給你並沒有什麼特別的意思，其目的只不過是想消耗你手機的一點點電力而已。
There's nothing special about sending this message to you, it's just about consuming a little bit of electricity on your phone.
27、世上有兩種女孩最可愛，一種是漂亮；一種是聰慧，而你是聰明的漂亮女孩。
There are two kinds of girls in the world, one is beautiful, the other is intelligent, and you are smart and beautiful girl.
28、我們心有靈犀，我們心心相印，我是新新人類，正逗猩猩高興！
Our hearts are in tune. Our hearts are together. I am a new human being. I am playing with gorillas.
29、恭喜你中了大獎，請於今天晚上十點整，帶着馬刀、鳥木倉、土炮到中國人民銀行蒙面領取。
Congratulations on your winning the prize. Please come to the People's Bank of China at 10:00 p.m. this evening with a horse knife, a bird-and-wood warehouse and an earthen cannon to collect it.
30、天不怕，地不怕，就怕老師來我家。坐俺的墩兒，喝俺的茶，老師一走媽就打。
God is not afraid, afraid of the ground, I am afraid the teacher came to my house. Sit at my pier and drink my tea. When the teacher walks, mom will fight.
31、人生自古誰無屎，有誰大便不用紙？若君不用衛生紙，莫非你是用手指！
Who has no feces since ancient times? Ruo Jun didn't use toilet paper, did you use your fingers?
32、水在海洋裏是渺小的，在沙漠裏卻是偉大的。雞在鶴羣裏是小的，但在鵪鶉裏是它就算偉大的！
Water is small in the ocean, but great in the desert. Chickens are small in the crane group, but they are great in quails.
33、愛情是上網，你下載了我，我就跟定了你！但是我害怕你突然死機，爲了安全，買個電源吧！
Love is the Internet, you download me, I set you up! But I'm afraid you suddenly crash, and buy a power supply for safety.
34、測試一下你的普通話，請大聲朗讀下面的詩：暗石綠，暗石竹，暗石透春綠，暗石透春竹。
To test your Mandarin, read aloud the following poems: Dark Stone Green, Dark Carnation, Dark Stone Spring Green, Dark Stone Spring Bamboo.
35、你的活潑可愛及天真讓我感到生活的美好，今天我要慎重的對你說：兒子我愛你。
Your liveliness, loveliness and innocence make me feel the beauty of life. Today, I want to tell you carefully: Son I love you.
36、笨男人爲錢玩命，聰明男人爲權玩命；笨女人爲愛玩命，聰明女人爲錢玩命！
Stupid men play for money, smart men play for power; Stupid women play for love, smart women play for money!
37、愛要怎樣說出口，倒在杯裏全是酒。我一口一口又一口，醉死我也不放手！
Love talks about wine, but wine in the cup. I bite and bite, and I will not let go!
38、只愛一個有點傻，愛上兩個最起碼，三個五個剛適宜，十個八個才瀟灑。
If you only love one, you are a little silly, and you fall in love with two. At the very least, the three five are just right, and the ten eight are handsome.
39、酒逢知己千杯少，想說愛你好不好？話不投機半句多，你不愛我請別說！
There is a thousand cups of wine, so is it good to say hello? Don't say half a word, you don't love me, please don't say!
40、唱歌不象唱歌音，好象你家滅火煙，留出你這短命鬼，到我面前來裝顛。
Singing is not like singing, as if your house smoked a cigarette, leaving your short life ghost to come to me.
41、太陽出來照大地！歡迎大夥來看戲！要問我是哪一個，人送外號小鞏俐！
The sun comes out to shine on the earth! Welcome everyone to the theatre! To ask which one I am, the person sends a nickname, little Gong Li!
42、我的思念不是高壓電網，是可以觸摸的網，可是爲什麼你總是不來觸摸？
My missing is not a high voltage grid, it is a touchable net, but why do you always do not touch?
43、天會黑，人會變，三分情，七分騙，路還長，別太狂，以後指不定誰輝煌！
The sky will be black, people will change, three points, seven points cheat, the road is long, do not be too crazy, who will be brilliant in the future.
44、超市尋人記：手提重物，掩面欲哭。衆裏尋他千百度，那廝卻在超市排隊處。
Supermarket tracing: carrying heavy objects, hiding your face to cry. The crowd looked for him, but he was in the supermarket queue.
45、人咬狗三大結局：人贏狗：比狗還狠！狗贏人：連狗都不如！打平了：跟狗一樣！
People bite dog three outcomes: people win dogs: even harder than dogs! Dogs win: even dogs are not as good as dogs! Ping: same as dogs!
46、測試一下普通話，請大聲朗讀下面的詩：暗石綠，暗石竹，暗石透春綠，暗石透春竹。
To test Putonghua, please read aloud the following poems: Dark Stone Green, Dark Carnation, Dark Stone Spring Green, Dark Stone Spring Bamboo.
47、沒有你的日子裏，我可以好好地愛惜我自己！沒有我的日子裏，你可以慢慢地折磨你自己！
In the days without you, I can take good care of myself. Without my day, you can slowly torture yourself!
48、我損你的時候你會來損我，現在我誇你，是希望你也誇我一下，你回“我知道”是幾個意思？
When I hurt you, you will hurt me. Now I want you to praise me. What do you mean by "I know"?
49、有的家庭，幾根麪條就能撐起熱騰騰的日子；有的家庭，一堆金幣反而把日子折騰得七顛八倒。
Some families, a few noodles can support the hot days; some families, a pile of gold coins on the contrary, the day is tossed upside down.
